Southern Fried French

Our Châtelaine Makes a Paella

One of my early introductions to this classic Spanish dish, which is also very popular in France when you have a crowd to feed and want to show off your cooking chops, was in the Carrefour, that famous French hypermarché, or giant grocery store. While mulling over the produce, I was startled by a very loud, guttural cry—“pie ALE´ya!”—which emanated from the heart of the store at  regular intervals. I followed the voix forte, and the lovely aroma, to find a quirky monsieur in a chef’s hat stirring a gargantuan shallow pot of steaming paella. This is the French version of take-out.

I’ve since eaten paella in Barcelona and Madrid and in France too, but I’ve never had a better one than the paella which is a speciality of our own châtelaine, Nicole (though our friend Marc makes a mean one as well). She only makes it when there’s a crowd, as there was last week when Nicole and Pierre threw a party for 60 or so, to thank the folks who have helped with the renovation of their new digs. Photo left:  my friend Sandi and I, pretending to be the chefs who made this beautiful paella, instead of  just the eaters.

Paella is a word that is impossible to pronounce correctly, since to my ears every person here, both French and ex-pat, has their own pronunciation of it, which they are absolutely convinced is the one and only correct one (my French dictionary offers up three pronunciations, including  [paɪ'ɛlə]. Figure that one out). So say it however you like, just be sure to insist on its accuracy. 

Mixed paella is a lavish dish, with a base of rice and vegetables and spices. To this one adds chicken, sausages, and shrimp. For her supersized paellas, Nicole has a special round, shallow pan which sits on its own stand, with a built-in gas burner. There are few things more enticing than a bubbling pot of paella, ready to dish up in large portions. Of course no Southern girl can resist it, rice being one of the major food groups in South Carolina. Photo right:  At a previous  party, Nicole preps for a paella.

“Hey Nicole,” said I, thinking of the blog, or of a nice dinner for Ron, “can you cut down that recipe for 60 into paella for two?” Pas de problème, though she has wisely retained the crowd concept and adjusted it for a dozen hungry paella fans. Just sing that name out loudly, and watch the masses gather!

 

RECIPE: Nicole’s Party Paella

Now, we know the French like small portions, but when Nicole cooks for a crowd, she goes all out and serves up copious quantities of food. She has cut down the recipe to feed 12, but it looks to me more like food for at least 30 famished folks. After all, there are over 20 pounds of meat/fish in this recipe. So be advised, and be hungry!

In general the meat/fish should be cut into serving-sized pieces. You will need a big shallow  Paella Pan, or make it in a couple of big skillets.

• 12 chicken thighs
• 1 lb. (about .5 kg) boneless pork chops or tenderloin, cut into pieces
• 4 lb. (a/b 2 kg) of mussels 
• 4 lb. (a/b 2 kg) of monkfish, cut into large pieces (reserve head & bones)
• 4 lb  (a/b 2 kg) of peeled, cooked shrimp (reserve shells)
• 4 lb. (a/b 2 kg) of calamari, cut into strips
• 4 lb. (a/b 2 kg) peeled, seeded tomatoes, cut in small pieces (fresh or canned)
• 6 large bell peppers, roasted and cut into small strips
• 2 lb. (a/b 1 kg) green beans, cut into pieces
• 2 lb. (a/b 1 kg) green peas, shelled (if you use frozen, add them a bit later)
• 36 round slices of chorizo sausage 
•  
• 2 lb (a/b 1 kg) of rice
• 8 1/2 cups (about 2 liters) of good chicken stock
• 1 teaspoon each, or more to taste: salt, pepper, paprika, and saffron.  (Throw in a bit of turmeric if you want your rice to be more yellow)
• 4 cups (about a liter) of fish stock (make this from the mussel cooking liquid, combined with fish heads, bones, and shrimp shells) 

Steam the mussels in 1 cup of water until just open.  Remove mussels from shells, set aside.  Retain cooking liquid as base for stock.  Make fish stock, as above.

In a very large, shallow skillet, brown the chicken thighs in vegetable oil until golden on each side, and remove from skillet. Leave oil and browned bits in skillet. Add pork, adding oil as needed to brown it, and remove to a platter. Repeat same process with fish and calamari. You are building flavors here, so do not wash skillet at any point.

Over medium high heat, add the rice to the skillet, along with the spices. Stir well.  Add the tomatoes, peppers, and vegetables.  Stir well and let it cook 5 minutes, stirring frequently.

 When the rice is nearly cooked, add all the fish and meat.  Cook until rice is tender, about 5 minutes.  Turn off heat, cover pan with foil and let it rest for 10 minutes, then serve.

 

  Photo: the crowd, primed with wine and ready to dig in to the paella.

Joan, thank you for remembering to take some nice photos, while I was distracted by the wine! 

NOTE: Another dish the French like to make for a crowd is a “couscous”. See the blog post on that here: "An Exotic Dish the French are Mad For".

 

In the COMMENTS: Pardon my French, thanks for the correction, folks. Christine, what a heart-warming story, and I wish I had 3 cats. Natalia, love your little round cabbages! Martin’s French lesson: Ouah ouah, says le toutou! Herm has a French lesson of a different kind. Iz, do come back sometime. And Michaela, I can hardly get my head around a four year drought—four months is killing us!  Glad the grapes are thriving.

Favorite Reads: Our friend Peter Ingle in Charleston is a writer with two interesting projects you may want to check out. He has a website/newsletter on classical art happenings in Charleston, called Charleston Today. And, as professional writer, he has written an ebook called Think Before You Write. It's a straightforward guide to clear, organized writing that you'll want to get for all the students you know, and maybe even for yourself. It's a bargain at $3.99.

My friend Sandi has discovered a super fun book called 100 Places in France Every Woman Should Go. It's a book I can't wait to read, and one I wish I'd written! 

 

It's Raining Chats et Chiens

We're in the midst of the most severe drought we've experienced in France, and no rain in the forecast. So we're hoping it will rain cats and dogs. But in the meantime, lets talk the real thing: the many cats and dogs of France.I can't resist an annual post on my favorite subject: what the French call les animaux domestiques.

First up, the ladder climbing cat at left, Poes, the cat of our Dutch neighbors Frank and Marjo. Their story: one day a severely injured kitten turned up in their garden. Frank and Marjo kindly had it stitched  up at the vet and left some food out on their terrace, while it healed.  

"You've got a cat,", we, and our friends, told them.  "Oh no," they both responded firmly.  "We've never had a cat. We don't like cats."  We all listened politely. "You've got a cat," we said.

Not a week had gone by before we started getting emails from them, with photos attached of said cat being absolutely charming.  "Isn't she cute?" they gushed. Suddenly she had been given a name.

Update on the cat Poes:  she now has his own fancy cat door, and an implanted chip that allows her exclusive use of it. She often sports a colorful bandana. She is much adored. This will be no surprise to anyone owned by a cat.

 

Next story:  a friend and I were driving through a village when we came across these caged cats, below.  We were appalled!  Cats in a cage, out in the hot sun, quelle horreur!  We quickly pulled over to investigate. 

But take a closer look:  one cage opens to the inside, through a hole in the glass, and there's an opening between the two cages.  So in fact, this is a clever outdoor terrace for a couple of indoor cats!  We think EVERY indoor cat should have one.

 

Below, some of the other cat and dog photos from this year.

 

Photo Below: French dogs usually sit politely under the table. This adorable chien is longing for a treat.  Who could resist him?

 

Below: one day we wandered into a shop, and saw the resident cat, conveniently stored in a drawer. A perfect cat nest.

The Favorite Dog, below: Our friends Alix and Paul's dog, Mignon, is a world traveler and social media star. Here, a selfie in Cluny (with a little help from Paul).

 

In a French shop window, a happy kitty-kettle.

And finally, a catnap with my boy Domino, on our galerie.

A little French vocabulary:

cat: un chat

kitten: un chaton

kitty: un minou, une minette

dog: un chien

puppy: un chiot

Meow: miaou

Here, kitty kitty kitty! How the French call a cat: Mi mi mi!

In the COMMENTS: What lovely and thoughtful comments everyone left on the Charleston shooting, well worth a read.  Duly noted: the deinstitutionalization of mental patients a few decades ago was and is a shameful plan which has left us with a huge homeless problem, and sometimes violence. Perhaps not in this case, but in many others.

 

Make l'Amour, Not War

Since the last post, tthe terrible massacre in Charleston occurred, and  broke our hearts. It was a wrenching tragedy, and our prayers go out to the victims and their families. And of course it started all sorts of conversations, about race, gun control, and excessive violence in America,

An American friend asked me this week , "What's the story on guns in France?" So I decided to look into this a bit deeper.

First, some observations from across the pond: In the US there is increasingly a culture of violence, shockingly evident when we go back to visit. In the US local papers, every day seems to bring fresh gun violence. Movies, TV shows and video games are disturbing in their ever more graphic violence, and Americans seem to have an insatiable thirst for watching it (how blood and gore got to be entertainment will always be a mystery to me). French movies and TV do not follow this violent pattern. Though of course American culture-creep is unavoidable, so US movies are shown here as well.  

French gun laws are tough, and violent crime is low. In France the gun culture is pretty much limited to those who hunt, a popular pastime in the countryside.The recent massacres by deranged (foreign) gunmen in France have caused France, and Europe, to tighten their strict gun laws even further (this has not happened in the US, sadly). Private ownership of handguns in France is illegal, but hunting rifles may still be bought by those who hold a hunting license (frequently renewed, psychological evaluation required), and owners must  register their ownership of a hunting rifle with the police.  There are regulations about how to store guns in the home.

The municipal police in France are not generally armed, though they can be.  The national police are a branch of the military, and they are armed.

One reason civilians don't carry guns here in France may be  because they don’t feel the NEED to carry guns. Violent crime here is rare. It’s seems to be a vicious circle in the US: guns begat more violence, causing more  people to believe they should carry guns, which then causes more impulsive violence, firearm accidents, and suicides with guns. That cycle doesn’t exist here.   Photo right: Gun control issues in France? No, the national discussion here at the moment is more about the dangers of messing with vegetable genes.

So let’s compare the statistics.

 Number of guns owned in the US:  about 90 per 100 people

Number of guns owned in France:  about 31 per 100 people

Murders per capita: The US has nearly five times the number of murders per capita as does France or the UK.

Percentage of murders involving guns, US: 67.5%

Percentage of murders involving guns, France: 9.6% 

(Source: the Washington Post ) 

There is no equivalent of the strong American gun lobby here in France. To understand the philosphy of the all-powerful NRA in the US, you only have to listen a member of the NRA board, who blamed the VICTIM in Charleston, saying the Charleston incident wouldn’t have happened if the preacher had been armed. Now picture this: per this NRA board member, the good reverend is supposed to walk around all day, even at prayer meetings, with a loaded gun in his pocket, instantly accessible, John Wayne style. And when someone suddenly points a gun at him, he is supposed to have time to pull out HIS gun and shoot someone who already has a gun pointed at his head? I don’t think so.   

By the way, did you read about the guy who was at a wedding at the Waldorf Astoria two weeks ago, and the loaded gun in his pocket accidentally discharged?  Injuring five people, as it ricocheted; one person was shot in the head. Yet the NRA wants to put guns in kindergartens, and arm college students (who have been known, on occasion, to drink excessively and act irresponsibly. Hey, let’s add guns to that mix!). In France—or any other country in the civilized world, for that matter—this would be laughable, unthinkable, deplorable. As it should be.  

My friend also asked, "If France isn't as violent, what about those riots in the big cities?" They are indeed a problem, and they typically occur in poor neighborhoods where there are disenfranchised youth. But the main outlet for male French frustration is not gunplay but setting empty cars on fire. Even in a peaceful week, auto arson is popular in les banlieues, or ghettos (bad behavior, but I’ll take property damage any day over shootings).

I’m not sure why burning cars is a tradition. Maybe the fire evokes some sort of male caveman instinct, just as guns are so much about flaunting machismo, and male aggression (sorry guys, but over 90% of homicides in the US are committed by males). 

The bottom line is, when it comes to crime, we feel much safer here in France, and the numbers confirm that. As do the repeated horrific US shootings. Can’t we Americans take a lesson from the French on this one, s'il vous plâit?  Make l’amour, not war!

In the COMMENTS: Juanita, that is TOO funny that you had almost the same experience!  And thanks for the cooking tip, y'all. I've never seen cooking spray in France, though surely it exists--I must look again. Augusta, it does resemble baba au rhum quite a bit (which I love), though it's a little more bread-like and not as sweet.  Surely they are culinary cousins.  Martin talks about Flammenkuche, a good subject for another blog one day. Jane, thanks for the tip on a local source, see you at the market I hope. Ellen, I think it will freeze just fine if you wrap it tightly. Natalia, oh my, nibbling around the globs, that sounds serious!

 

Favorite Reads & Views:  Here's an interesting and funny article/video by an Australian comic. The subject: How the rest of the world sees US gun laws. On a lighter note, my friend Alix recommends My Paris Dream: An Education in Style, Slang, and Seduction in the Great City on the Seine , by Kate Betts.  She says it's a funny, light read.  In the movie department,  I can't wait to watch A Taste of Romance (Hallmark), recommended in the Comments section by our reader Colleen (of Colleen Taylor Fine Art).

 

Cartoon at top by Draw-ception.